Who Wants to Live Forever?
by Use Your Illusion ACT III
Summary: Immortality is a terrible burden to bear, and it makes it all the heavier when you have to bear it alone.


Hi, me again. I wanted to do something different before I posted another one about how horrible it must be for Celestia to be immortal, but I ended up finishing this before any of my other ideas. And I really like this story, so I didn't feel like waiting to post it. So here it is. Love it or hate it, but either way, make sure to tell me why with a review.

Who Wants to Live Forever?

"No…"

Princess Celestia surveyed the wreckage that had been home to her and her sister. The castle had been badly damaged in the fight. Entire sections of wall had been blown away by blasts of magic. Several of the tapestries that decorated the palace were in tatters, one had even been incinerated. None of the towers had collapsed completely, but they were marred by gaping holes and slowly bleeding loose bricks. But the Princess of the Sun didn't care about any of that. Her distress was at the absence of the figure she so desperately sought.

"Luna?!" she called out into the battleground, "Luna, can you hear me?!" Then she looked up and saw it. The shadow she had feared would be there. The Mare in the Moon.

"No… please…" Celestia whispered, her eyes glistening as the aura of her magic flickered, letting the Elements of Harmony fall to the ground, "Please, not her. Not my baby sister too."

The alicorn mare hung her head and wept. How much more was she supposed to give up for Equestria? She would have thought that any hope for a normal life would be enough, and lonely immortality seemed acceptable when she pictured it with Luna by her side. They were supposed to be friends forever. But Luna was gone. Celestia was alone, and it was all her fault.

 _She had looked forward to the Gala back then. It was a time when she could forget the pressures of ruling a kingdom. In those days, Equestria was young and the music and mingling and making the nobles feel important had yet to lose its luster. On that night, she could just be another young mare dancing and laughing with her friends. And, hopefully, her sister._

 _"Luna?" Celestia called as she reached her sister's door. The younger princess had seemed distant lately. She had been quiet at breakfast (well, for her it was dinner) and they hardly spent any time together. Celestia thought her sister was probably just feeling overworked, but then she realized Luna hadn't said a word about the Gala. Last year, it had been all she could talk about._

 _When she was met with silence she called again. She received no answer a second time and pushed the door ajar to peek inside. As Celestia poked her head into her sister's room, she could have sworn she heard somepony crying._

 _"Luna, are you in here?"_

 _"What do you want?" Luna croaked after a brief sniff silenced what her sister was now certain had been sobbing._

 _"Well, the Grand Galloping Gala is coming up and-"_

 _"What about it?" the younger princess snapped bitterly._

 _"…And I was hoping you and I could compare dresses," Celestia offered gingerly._

 _Luna mumbled something that sounded like, "You'd love that, wouldn't you?"_

 _"Sorry?"_

 _"I said I'm not going!" she jerked her body so that she was lying with her back to Celestia._

 _"Not going?" Celestia repeated incredulously, "But… It's the biggest night of the year!"_

 _"So?"_

 _"So we should be there_ together _. The citizen's of Equestria will be expecting us._ Both _of us."_

 _"What do I care about the citizens of Equestria?!" Luna roared, now stand upright atop her bed, "They certainly couldn't give a flying feather about me!"_

 _"I… I can't believe what I'm hearing!" Celestia almost shouted back, "How can you say that?! Everything you and I have ever done has been for our people! How can you turn on them like this?!"_

 _"I haven't turned on anyone! They're the ones who turned on me! They barely even acknowledge that there_ is _a princess of the night!"_

 _" I don't understand where you got such a notion, but-"_

 _"OF COURSE YOU DON'T!" Luna screamed in the Royal Voice, "THEY LOVE_ YOU _! THEY ALL BOW DOWN IN FRONT OF_ YOU _! THEY WORSHIP_ YOU _! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE_ IGNORED _!"_

 _"STOP BEING SO SELFISH!" Celestia replied in kind, "WE DIDN'T BECOME THE RULERS OF THIS LAND FOR PRAISE! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A SPOILED CHILD!"_

 _"GET OUT!" the force from Luna's roar actually pushed her sister back into the doorway, "GET OUT AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"_

 _"FINE!"_

 _Celestia stalked off to resume business for the day, unsure which of them had magically slammed the door on her way out. If only she had stopped to think. If only she had listened to her sister's feelings and recognized her outburst for the cry for help it was. If only she had gone back that night and apologized. But she did none of those things, and the divide between them only grew._

The new castle was coming along nicely. It was to overlook the entire land from atop Canterlot Mountain. One of Princess Platinum's old summer palaces was to be refurbished and used as its base; old age had brought out a surprising generous streak in the blue-blooded unicorn. Celestia's official statement was that the Castle of the Two Sisters was too badly damaged, but that was only a half-truth. She couldn't live there surrounded by memories of a long-gone sister. Luna had been gone a year, but the memory was still fresh.

At first, she had balked at the idea of celebrating the worst day of her life. But, to the ponies, it was the day their hero-princess triumphed over the forces of darkness and saved them all. Equestria had not been so united since its founding. It was a hollow consolation, thinking that her sister's betrayal had at least given their subjects something to rally behind, but it was all she had. Everything was for the people, that was what she had said. That was what she had to believe. Even if it wasn't always true.

 _"How are you holding up?" Celestia had asked. Luna was perched on the balcony, gazing northward, where the Crystal Empire had once stood._

 _"What do you care?" she choked out, "You hated him."_

 _"That's not true-"_

 _"Yes it is!" Luna didn't have it in her to make that a genuine shout, "I saw you. You were glad he was gone."_

 _Yes, she had been glad. Glad that the Crystal Ponies wouldn't have to live in slavery. Celestia had never quite gotten along with King Sombra, but that wasn't why she had insisted they bring him down. Neither was the fact that she didn't like the influence he had on her sister. Luna had been happy, if a bit quiet, before they met. Then she had taken to locking herself in her room, reading or writing the love letters that she thought were a secret. But that wasn't why they had to stop him. Sombra had turned on his subjects._

 _"Luna, he was hurting ponies," said the elder sister, "I don't know what happened to Sombra, but he wasn't the stallion you knew anymore, he-"_

 _"You didn't know him!" the younger half-sobbed, "He understood me. I could have talked to him. I could have made him stop, and he'd still be here. Now he's gone. Because of you."_

 _Luna reached her limit. She began to cry quietly, her head in her hooves. This was what Celestia had hoped to avoid. She didn't want the king to break her sister's heart. She had recognized that lust for power in his eyes. The growing darkness she had witnessed before. She only wanted to spare Luna that pain, but she hadn't listened._

 _"I understand that you're hurting now," Celestia said, now resting a hoof on her sister's shoulder, "If you want to be alone, that's fine. Just remember that I'm here for you."_

 _And then she walked away. The Guard had to be briefed. Luna would feel better in time. She would understand that Celestia was just trying to protect her. She just needed time. She'd understand…_

"But I was the one who didn't understand."

Now she was alone in her new garden. The Summer Sun Celebration had come and gone several times and her palace was complete. It was one of the few moments of peace she got these days, not long after the raising of the moon. But there was no peace for her anymore. Not with her sister looking back at her from the heavens every night.

Celestia deserved it. She deserved to have her failures thrown back in her face. That was the secret purpose of this garden, to remind her of what she did wrong. To make sure it didn't happen again. Its centerpiece held her most bitter memory. An unnatural amalgam of unrelated creatures, frozen forever in a bought of laughter. Luna had been with her when the statue was made. She had been there when Celestia needed her. If only she had returned the favor. How fitting that the light of her sister's moon should be shining down on Discord. Her two greatest failures combined.

 _"You didn't have a choice," Luna had said softly._

 _"I know," Celestia had replied, silent tears falling down her face, "I know there wasn't another way. I just wish there had been."_

 _"So do I," said Luna, her wing wrapped gingerly around her elder sister. She and Discord had more or less tolerated each other for Celestia's sake, but she was still sad to see what had become of him. His chaos used to be controlled, his pranks all in good fun. Perhaps now and then somepony might take it too seriously, but he could always laugh it off. He always loved to laugh. That was what Celestia had loved about him. But, one day, Discord changed._

 _Neither of them saw it coming. His jokes stopped being funny and started being cruel. Ponies became toys to him. They never found out what brought it on. Perhaps he paid more attention to the whispers behind his back than he let on. Whatever the case, their friend Discord had been replaced by the Master of Chaos. And so they had to fight._

 _That was the only thing she could think, all that had kept her from giving up: "We have to." She didn't know then what a mantra that would become for her: "I have to."_

" _I'm so sorry, Tia," Luna whispered. Celestia held tight to her beloved sister as the tears found their voice. She knew that, no matter how much it hurt, Luna would pull her through. And she would always be there to return the favor. And yet, when the time came, she wasn't._

"I'm sorry…" she looked up at her ultimate failings and wept, "I'm so sorry."

The moon shone in silence on the serpentine statue.

"I didn't want any of this. I swear. But I had to stop you. Please, try to understand."

She cried. She would cry for many nights over the next millennium. But she had a solitary hope that would get through the day. A prophecy about her sister and a young unicorn with a star-shaped cutie mark.

On the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape and she will bring about night eternal. And when all six are gathered, the Rainbow will heal her poisoned heart.

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed that. I've seen people write about this from Luna's perspective, so I thought I'd do something about what Celestia went through when her sister became a monster.

I'm not one for long goodbyes, so, until next time, respect all life, love each other, and don't run with your spears.


End file.
